monday challenge: 60 seconds. creeps in through many forms.  I'm sure we all have seen this problem, whether we have been hurtful to someone else, or been hurt ourselves.  What can we do to take negativity out of our relationships?  It can break hearts.  It can destroy relationships.  What can we do to turn the negative into the positive?  Here are some areas I thought of and ideas of what can be done to improve them.

(I probably need this more than anyone else!) 

Discontentment:  If you feel less than content with your life, our spouse and/or our situation.  Perhaps it would be wise to sit down and count your blessings...write down all the things you are grateful for.  In fact, do this beforehand and look at the list when you are feeling this way. 

Back-biting:  Don't talk spitefully about your spouse behind their back.  It can be easy to tell someone else what is bothering you about your spouse.  Maybe take time to talk to your spouse about the things that are bothering you.  If you need to run through it once or twice before discussing it with them... it might help to write it out in a journal or go somewhere by yourself and run through your thoughts before sharing them.  (this could also prevent you from saying anything hurtful while discussing things.)  Don't share upset, hurtful, or sarcastic feelings on the internet (facebook, blog, twitter, etc.)

Whining:  Just be quiet.  Usually the thing that I am whining about still needs to be done whether I whine about it or not.  Just do it without whining and think how it will benefit your spouse or your household.  

Criticism: If something the other person it doing is driving you crazy, just leave the room or kindly ask them to stop with out blowing up in their face.  If you feel like your spouse it doing something wrong.  Stop and ask yourself if it is hurting anything?  If it is, then kindly ask them to stop or do it another way.  If not, just let go and if you need to, address the situation later.

The challenge today is to take 60 seconds and write down as many things as you can that you love about your spouse.  When you feel angry or discontent, or critical, etc. look at the list and realize how many good things outweigh the bad.

And remember...

I think that sums it up nicely.


Trapper and Suzy said...

This is a great lesson. Thanks, Laura. Could I add something else as well though? One night I was really irritated with Trapper and I couldn't really identify why, but it was such a negative feeling. Then before bed, we knelt together for prayer. We always do this. Believe me, i didn't want to. I didn't even want to touch him. Anyway, just the act of praying FOR Trapper and for that love made the negativity go away. I think it was because the Lord was able to help me see my husband in the way that He sees him. And of course, that is pure love. It was an amazing experience. So remember that. Pray for your spouse and to see your spouse in the way that God sees him. : ) I still, to this day, have no idea what was irking me that night.

Brianna Tuckett said...

Those are such good rules to live by!! Any negative feelings towards your spouse are SO destructive and eat away at your relationship so fast! These are great words of wisdom to remember and live by. Thanks Laura!! :)