my mother told me not to.

This is a somewhat random rambling of thoughts that I had this morning...

My Mom's Mother passed away when my Mom was only 14 years old.  I have never been able to imagine what it would have felt like to loose my Mother at such a young age. 

When I was 16 years old, my Mom and I were shopping to find me a swimming suit.  I picked up a two-piece bikini style suit and asked if I could wear one like this.  She, of course told me NO.  I had always wanted to wear a bikini and so I dug up what (I thought) was the best possible leverage to get her to let me get one.   "But Mom, you wore a bikini when you were 16!" I exclaimed. 

Calmly and with the wisdom only a Mother could posses she replied..."Yes, but I didn't have my Mother to tell me not to..."

There were many other times when my Mother told me not to do things that I wanted oh so desperately to do.  Some of them I did, and some of them I didn't.

I was thinking about some of these things this morning.

There was the time in high school that I wanted to ask a guy who I had an ENOURMOUS crush on to a dance, and my Mom told me that she didn't want me to, but to do what I thought was best.  I asked him, and for many reasons, have forever felt a little embarrassed because of it.

There was the time that I wanted to take a trip to meet a guy with whom I had only ever talked on the phone.  My Mother told me she didn't want me to and because of that and a few other reasons, I chose to stay.  Turns out, the week I would have been gone to meet the "phone guy", I went on my first date with Connel.

As I get closer and closer to my due date, I wonder if I will ever get to be as good as my Mother.  I have her to thank for the good things that I have done in my life. 

It's kind of funny that there is so much parenting information right now that tells us not to use the word "No" with our children.  "They" tell us to use positive reinforcement, telling us that it will help our children make better choices by themselves.  It is true, yes, that positive reinforcement is a good tool for helping children become independent and successful.  However, I believe that sometimes, as children, we need a little more "help" with our choices, because we tend to concentrate on the here and now, when our wise parents see what lies ahead in our futures... therefore, I think that there is NOTHING wrong with saying the word "No" every once in a while...

I could have made many more awful choices in my life...

... I am grateful that my Mom was there to tell me not to.

Those are my deep thoughts for the day! :)


Ashley said...

I Love your mom too! She is a great example. I say "no" to my kids more than I ever thought I would. They are still happy! haha. so I love what you are saying about it. You are going to be a great mom, and actually in so many ways you already are!

~ kietra ~ said...

Great thoughts, Laura! Thanks for sharing them. Gave me warm fuzzies. :) I think you are going to be a wonderful mother! I'm so glad to hear you had such a wonderful example to follow. :)

Ashley said...

You say things so profound. I too have my mom to thank for the good things in my life. That little paragraph made me teary-eyed, thanks a lot! I couldn't imagine my life without my mom.